Dating Coach for Singles Over 40 who are new, returning to, or burnt out by dating.
You're never too old, and it's never too late to return to dating.
Yearning to be in a relationship but can't imagine where to start?
I know firsthand how daunting this can feel because at 49, after my 20 year relationship ended, I became single again, and eventually returned to dating. Although scary at first, I ended up discovering the many joys of dating later in life, and expanding my circle to encounter different kinds of people I wouldn't have otherwise met.
After 35 years of working as a counsellor in university and community settings, coaching people through the hardest transitions of their lives, I built Unscripted Dating, because I believe that dating itself has the potential to shape one's personal growth.
It took me six years before I started dating again.
By the time I entered the dating world again, it had completely changed since I was in my 20s.
The prospect of starting over, navigating a new dating landscape, and the possibility of being recognized online — was terrifying.
What if my clients, students, colleagues, or even (worse) children saw me online.
However, I started feeling more comfortable about the idea of putting myself "out there," and eventually became unapologetic in my new identity as a single person out in the world.
I also discovered, that I enjoyed dating even without the promise of every date leading to a relationship.
I started treating dating like travel, seeking new moments and experiences, meeting people I wouldn't have otherwise encountered, and not investing too heavily in the outcome.
I want to help other singles find the potential joy of dating in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond.
Enjoying life allows you to arrive as a positive, curious version of yourself when someone special comes along.
— Ellen, founder of Unscripted
Everything you need to return to dating with confidence — delivered up to six months, at your pace.
No pressure, no pitch — just a conversation.
If we don't move forward, you still leave with something valuable.
We cover your history, current hopes and fears, and what you want from the process.
We map out next steps and concrete, tailored, and evidence-based plans.
1:1 virtual sessions, that cover mindset, matching with other singles, dates, debriefs, and exploring patterns.
Plus unlimited "Text SOS" support between sessions.
What's working, what's not. Your values, goals, and what process makes the most sense as next steps.
Where to meet other singles — and how to set up a digital presence that feels authentic. Options for sites, building a profile, and how to assess potential matches online (including how to avoid scammers).
The do's and don'ts of fun, unscripted, and authentic dating, pre and post date support, SOS support if dates go "south", building your confidence, and fine tuning your approach along the way.
Sharing your experience of each date, and identifying key takeaways. Revisiting any issues that are getting in the way of your success and enjoyment.
Identifying and moving past the patterns that aren't working for you.
Staying energized, and in the "game" for the long run — because meeting someone special can take time.
Unlimited "Text SOS" support. Send me screenshots of a message, I help you reply. Prepping for a date? Text me. Don't know what to wear? Send me a pic. Feeling awkward during a date - text me.
At least one in-person session if you're located in Toronto.
Every package starts with a complimentary introductory consult— no obligation.
Ellen has a depth of intuitive understanding offering a perspective that you might not always consider when dating. She has the ability to focus and clarify your dating and relationship goals and helps identify when you deviate from your objectives. She also assists in envisioning with you the type of relationship you are seeking in the most clever manner. Ellen makes the experience worth the work.
I’ve known Ellen for over five years, and she has a natural ability to ask thoughtful, honest questions that help you see yourself more clearly in a way that feels supportive and encouraging. Through our conversations, I’ve gained a deeper awareness of my patterns, my communication, and what it really means to be present in a relationship.
I had never tried online dating before and was pretty reluctant to put myself out there. Ellen guided me through the entire process: from selecting photos and crafting my bio, to even swiping through potential matches together. Not only did I start connecting with the right people, but I ultimately met my life partner. We're now happily living together.
We start by understanding where you are and creating a real plan with specific timelines and activities built in —
The initial assessing of your needs and goals includes exploring patterns, myths, and limiting approaches that have or can get in your way.
We then build an online presence if that’s part of the plan, practicing in the real world, and debriefing every session so we keep adjusting as the world reacts to you.
We meet, monitor and correct along the way - working on perseverance, a positive mindset, and enjoying the process. We adjust if the experience is deviating from a stimulating and positive one.
Honestly? I don’t know. Nobody does — and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something they can’t deliver.
Some people meet a partner within a few months, others take a year, or two, or longer.
Treat the timeline as something you can’t control. Treat your experience along the way as something you can. That’s the whole shift.
No. Online dating is a tool, not a requirement.
However, nothing can compare to the volume of singles on dating apps. In a big city, there are literally 1000s of new singles each week you can access online, and once you get over the initial fear of going public, dating apps can be weirdly freeing. For some people, they’re the wrong fit entirely, and we can focus on meeting people through life instead.
In our first session, and along the way, we figure out what’s right for you.
I will encourage you to try new things, and get out of your comfort zone slowly—but everything is in your control.
If we do go the online route, I’ll help you choose a platform (or platforms), build a profile, and spot scammers.
If we don’t, that’s fine too.
Between sessions, you can text me when you need a hand in real time and as often as you want.
For example,
Most of the practice and questions will come up between sessions, in the live moments, and SOS text support is how I help you when you have an immediate question.
A complimentary consult to explore whether working together makes sense.
30 minutes. No pressure, no pitch — pick a time that works for you.
A complimentary consult to explore whether working together makes sense.
Occasional notes on dating, self-discovery, and showing up as yourself.